i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
