i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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