new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize