Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
