You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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