you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
