Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Why is there bacon in the couch?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
