Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
