I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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