I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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