Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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