I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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