Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
