I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
