If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
