My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
