Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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