Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize