It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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