I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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