Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Btw I puked in your glovebox
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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