well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
