u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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