SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
