well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I forgot how hot balto sounded
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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