I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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