You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
