scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
