I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He passed out mid-signature
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The adults are the big ones right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
