Fine. I'll sleep in my office
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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