I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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