I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
