You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
