I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
