i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
