i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
