i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
