thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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