I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize