kristin has been a bad kristin
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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