I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
