you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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