Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
