im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
