Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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