It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
