Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
