this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics