even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
