God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
