it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
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I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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