i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
