i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
