watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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