he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
