hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.