Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT