I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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