My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How do u even exfoliate your vagina