I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
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I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
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You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.