yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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