pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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