Jerry, you need to find god
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize