i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
